Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer and other musings

So, I was watching Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer tonight - and it's been a long time since I paid attention to it. Here are my top complaints...

1. Why is Santa such an elitest grump? Who is he to not like the elves song and dis the fact that Rudolph has a shiny red nose? I mean it's fucking Santa clause - how is this okay?

2. Clarice is a whore. Yup, I said it. On first meeting she was flirting, throwing herself on Rudolph and then without any knowledge left her parents to go look for him. SLUT!

3. How did the lion get to lead the land of misfit toys. Was he elected? An heir to the throne?

4. Did it ever occur to anyone that "charlie in the box" wasn't wanted because he is annoying - I mean genuinely annoying? (side note - what ever happened to Jack in the Boxes? and if we were to do a remake - what would the toy be?)

5. Does anyone notice in the beginning during reindeer school - or whatever it is called - that Santa has a clear problem with nepotism. I mean he clearly calls on Dasher's son first. An he is all "Donner you should be ashamed of himself" but no mention of the underdog reindeer...